JACKIE BEAT: SONGS I REALLY CANT SING...

Big and bitter drag legend presents an annotated evening of topical parodies long past their prime.
September 5 & 6  at Laurie Beechman Theatre

Buy tickets HERE.

 “Those who’ve witnessed drag superstar Jackie Beat know what she really is: a piece of trash -- but an amazingly witty, sarcastic, and bitchy piece of trash. Ms. Beat’s wickedly morose humor has split the sides of many unsuspecting spectators, performing your favorite tunes in her own twisted way.” -- Village Voice

"Hostile, lewd, and riotously funny" -- Time Out

After acclaimed writing stints on Fashion Police and Hello Ross on E! as well as opening for Roseanne Barr in Las Vegas, JACKIE BEAT, the self-professed bastard child of "Weird" Al Yankovic and buxom Bette Midler returns to Times Square with JACKIE BEAT: SONGS I REALLY CAN'T SING ANYMORE! at The Laurie Beechman Theater (inside West Bank Cafe at 407 West 42nd Street -- at Ninth Avenue, accessible from the  A,C,E,N,R,V,F,1,2,3 trains at 42nd Street). Performances are Saturday, September 5 and Sunday, September 6 at 7pm. Tickets are $22 plus a $15 food/drink minimum. To purchase tickets call 212-352-3101 or visit www.SpinCycleNYC.com.

Featuring topical song parodies long past their expiration dates, JACKIE BEAT: SONGS I REALLY CAN'T SING ANYMORE! is a bawdy blast from the past, a fierce & fabulous flashback of fun. How sad were you when the canceled Jenny Jones' talk show? When J.Lo and Ben Affleck broke up? When the SARS outbreak was finally under control? Or when they stopped putting Olean in snack foods? Not as sad as Jackie -- because she had to stop singing some of her favorite songs. Add a catchy little ditty about the world ending in 2012, plus an ode to Osama Bin Laden and you have JACKIE BEAT: SONGS I REALLY CAN'T SING ANYMORE! But don't worry, the evening offers plenty of annotation for those with early onset Alzheimer's, the pop-culture challenged, or those with birthdays after 1985.

JACKIE BEAT, the bitter creation of artist and writer Kent Fuher, was born in Los Angeles way back in 1989 -- when Melrose Avenue still featured thrift stores and the rock bands on the Sunset Strip could actually play instruments and sing live! Over the past 25 years, Jackie has appeared in countless stage productions such as "Valley of the Dolls" and "Whatever Happened To Busty Jane?" and many movies and TV shows, including "Flawless" with Robert Deniro and Phillip Seymour Hoffman, "Wigstock The Movie" and "Sex And The City." Miss Beat has also toured as the opening act for comic legend Roseanne Barr and written material for the likes of Rosie O'Donnell, Joan Rivers, Ross Mathews, Jennifer Coolidge, Kate Flannery and more. Jackie has traveled all over the world with her live show and wowed unsuspecting audiences on dozens of Atlantis gay cruises. La Beat is the subject of the full-length documentary and film festival favorite "My Name Is Jackie Beat."  She also co-founded the electro rock band, Dirty Sanchez, with famed club promoter and actor Mario Diaz and DJ Barbeau. The band was signed to Cleopatra Records and toured the US with electronic music icons My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult. After a brief five year "visit" to conquer New York City in the naughty '90s, Jackie returned to Los Angeles where she now lives with her three precious dogs: Lil Sister, Miss Toni and Darlin. For more information visit www.missjackiebeat.com.